Our Conversation with Ariel from PMQ for two

Welcome to Military Family Life

This month we are speaking with Ariel from PMQ for two.

Ariel is the voice behind the blog PMQ for two, where she creates bright, bold, creative interiors, DIY and lifestyle content.  Ariel is also the first Home and DIY creator in Pinterest Canada's creator class of 2021-2022, and her work has been featured online and in print just about everywhere. 

In this episode:

·      Ariel talks about her connection to the Military and why she started her blog

·      Claudia tells us about her biggest home improvement nightmare

·      Ariel talks about the many PMQs she has lived in over the years, and how her ideas about design have evolved

·      Ariel shares her best advice for new Military family members – and talks about what she has coming up.

You can follow Ariel on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and TikTok by searching for pmqfortwo

We would love to hear from you.  If you are a Military Family Member that wants to share your experiences and lessons learned, email us at Podcast.Feedback@PetawawaMFRC.com 

Transcript

Episode 3 - Military Family Life 

Guest – Ariel from PMQ for Two

 Intro:

Welcome to military family life, the podcast for Canadian military family members, by military family members. Definitely should a guide book or mentor to help you with some of the challenges you're facing as part of a military family. Each episode, we're going to bring you the stories of people who have been there, they're going to share the lessons that they've learned along the way to help you live your best military family life. 

Welcome to Military Family Life!

My name is Julie Hollinger and I am a Military spouse working at the  Petawawa Military Family Resource Centre.  This month my co-host Claudia Beswick and I are very excited to welcome our first pocast guest.

Ariel is the voice behind the blog -- PMQ for two, where she creates bright, bold, creative interiors, DIY and lifestyle content.  Ariel is also the first Home and DIY creator in Pinterest Canada's creator class of 2021-2022, and her work has been featured online and in print just about everywhere.

We hope you enjoy our conversation with Ariel

Welcome Ariel – thanks for joining us.  We have already read you official bio, but for those people who may be new to PMQ for Two, can you tell us a bit about yourself and your connection to the military.

 
[00:01:15]

Ariel:

I am Ariel. I am the founder / creator of PMQ for Two. It started as a blog - just a blog for military families living in military housing. Back in the day they used to be called PMQs. It's an acronym for private military quarters or private married quarters. And now, I think they're called RHUs - residential housing units.  

Claudia:

Correct.

Ariel:

I’m sticking to PMQ that's much cuter. 

And when I started the blog, it was my husband and myself in a PMQ -  so two people and a PMQ. Over the years, I grew my savvy with various forms of social media and design, and just business in general. And, you know, we may no longer live in a PMQ - we may no longer have, quote, typical military tastes when it comes to interiors or lifestyle - but the brand is a huge part of my life as a military spouse and has stuck with me and I don't really think I could ever change the name.  The disclaimer I put when I introduce myself is going to get exponentially longer, but I'm still PMQ for two. 

And my connection to the military is my husband is a member of the Army. 

Julie:

Now, do you have any background with the military before you married your spouse? Or was this just brand new welcome? 

Ariel:

No, I sort of had a background. So I mean, I think like most people in Canada, like, you have grandfather or something who was in the military - who was in the war. So everybody has that kind of communal touchstone, but, you know, had an uncle who was in the military.  And when I was in university doing my undergrad - so my first degree - I was super interested in Can-Am military relations, and I ended up being intern at the Canadian Embassy in Washington, for military media. And then I went did my Masters as a civilian at RMC. So, the Royal Military College of Canada, and I did my Masters of War Studies there. And that's where I met my husband. Yeah, so I was I was military adjacent. 

Julie: 

So I've never actually lived in a PMQ, I still have an experience with PMQs in terms of how I sort of see it on Facebook and watching people talk about it, but I've never actually lived in one. 

Ariel:

I mean, you could count that a blessing depending on which Base you're on.

Claudia:

Well, I can tell you, I have lived in many a PMQs, or RHUs, or whatever.  They were PMQs when I was living in them. And you know, it has its pros and cons. Some of the challenges, I think that I found, you know, how do you get your queen size mattress up the stairs?  Because every house that every PMQ that you've been in is a different shape, or a different layout or a different size.   So trying to get some of the bulk of your furniture in – when it fit in one place and not in another was quite interesting. 

And I remember on one move, where my new neighbor had come up to me, and they introduced themselves. And of course, you know, you're sitting there doing the …

Ariel:

Spreadsheet bingo?

Claudia:

Bingo. Yep. And this neighbor came up and she said:  you know, wow, the person before you had a similar couch, and she had to call CE to come replace the living room window, so they can get the couch in the house.And of course, you have to pay for that.  Small minor panic, and so, you know, there's me envisioning my furniture being left outside because it couldn't get in the house. And, you know, what if it rains and all that kind of stuff. Anyway, it all worked out, no window had to come out. Everything was as cool. 

I had a big couch in a small living room, but we made do.  And I think, you know, one of the biggest challenges in how military families go into the PMQs is how to figure out how to make things fit. And I think Ariel - for me - when I when I look at your blog, and all your pictures, and it's so creative, and how you do it. And I think sometimes that starts that whole creative thinking of what you can do. 

For myself, personally, I love moving things around. 

Ariel: 

Me too. 

[00:05:00]

Claudia: 

I love changing things. And every opportunity that my husband was gone, chances are as a living room would be in a new layout when he came home. 

Ariel:

And you know, I've heard some really interesting theories about why we do that, because that seems to be a pretty common experience. I've heard one of them is like we’re all just bored. And then the other one is it's a really passive aggressive way of getting back at them for being gone. And it's like, well, no, I'm sorry, that's not where the bowls go anymore. 

Claudia:

Well, part of it is boredom too. Right? Like yeah,

Ariel:

Oh yeah, for sure. 

Claudia:

Kids are in bed and there's not much on the TV of course.  I mean, now I'm aging myself because we didn't have streaming cable or satellite or anything. We had like four or five different channels – that’s if you're lucky – and you actually had to stand up and go to the TV and turn the knob. Didn’t have all of this remotes action going on.

Julie:

Are some of the PMQs better than others?  I mean, Claudia you grew up in Germany, you've been out West, you've been out East  - are there places where the PMQs are better than other places and people know that?

Ariel:

My understanding of it is - for the most part- they were all built at the same time. So there's very little variation in them.  And I think the important part about them all being built at the same time, is that they were built for a certain scale of furniture and appliances.

Claudia:

Funny story. We were in this fairly large apartment in Germany. And a lot of families that go to Germany come back with the shrank, the clock, the kitchenook, all of that kind of stuff. And when we found out the type of PMQ that we got - when we came back to Canada – we were like ‘oh my…’  

We were in A frame where you have two bedrooms upstairs, and I have two children. And so, the third room downstairs, which typically was a dining room was made into a bedroom and CFHA was like: Well, you know, these PMQs were not built for that kind of stuff. And it's really on you for having all that furniture, not for us to give you a house to fit your furniture. 

Ariel:

But like realistically, that's the worst thing you can say to somebody is ‘you chose this’. Whenever I hear that in any, you know, context, it's a super poorly-veiled insult, and a complete lack of understanding. So like, I shut that down, when I hear it.

Claudia:

But, you have to give credit where credit's due, right.  Military families really do know how to make it happen. 

Ariel:

Absolutely. 

Claudia: 

And make their PMQ - or their home - into a warm and welcoming environment. And, you know, if you've listened to the previous two podcasts, I am also an Army wife. And you know, the adage is true - home really is where the Army sends you. I really believe that you do everything you can to make whatever home you're in your home, right? It's what's best for you and your family. 

[00:07:36]

Ariel:

Like, that was a complete platitude for me until I really started to feel like our posting was home. You know, it was when it finally happened when I corrected my parents. They're like: ‘are you coming home for Christmas?’ And I was like: ‘actually, I am home. So I will come visit.’

Julie:

 It's sort of like a subtle moment, you don't even realize it's happened. I mean, I remember this time in Petawawa. Because I mean, we were coming here for two years, and I wasn't planning to get involved in the community. And then one day we woke up - and I was going somewhere – and  I realized this is my home, like all the places I was going to go back to weren’t in my head anymore. This is where I lived, and I really liked it, and I didn't see it happening. It just kind of snuck up on me.

The PMFRC in Petawawa - our office is actually in a row of PMQs. So I guess I have that exposure to PMQs. I remember one time, so it's four row houses and they tore all the walls out - and you kind of go from one to the other - and if you walk five feet like the temperature changes 10 degrees. It's what it's one of those deals.

I remember we did a VIP tour and we brought somebody through.  So we explained the history she's like:  ‘so two families lived here?”.  We were like: four families.

My office has one plug.  I mean if I have to charge my phone sometimes I'm doing in the hallway - you work around the solutions.

Ariel:

One plug and a ton of mouse poop in the walls- that no one knows is there we can all assume.  Our last PMQ had wasps in the walls.

Julie:

That's terrifying. 

Ariel:

This is not a CFHA hate podcast or anything but like the wasps were in the walls, so… 

[00:08:58]

Julie:

One of the questions I want to ask is, I look at your pictures and they're beautiful.  I have a couple of like colored walls and you know it's few and far between. The colors are beautiful. 

Ariel:

Thank you 

Julie:

How many coats does it take to get rid of those colors? Because I mean there's some sort of inspection is there not?  If there is like an orange wall like they must kind of: yikes.

Does your husband curse you? Do you have to do the third coat of primer or is it a ‘you did it you painted it you cover it' situation?

Ariel:

It’s very much a ‘you did it you undo it’ sort of situation.

Claudia:

And you undo it to their standards.  

Ariel:

So I've heard different things depending on the Bases. I've heard that if you're there more than two but less than four you only have to prime.  I've heard if you’re there more than four they're compelled to repaint anyways - in which case they're going to reprime as well. And if you’re there under two- you better leave that the way you found it.  So I think it depends on where you are and how long you've been there -and what you did, right. 

Like if you changed it from one shade of beige to another shade of beige that's maybe quote forgivable but going for jelly guava like I did at one point. I had to prime that several times.

[00:10:05]

Claudia:

Funny story - in one of the PMQs that we were in, we’d been in there - that was one of our longer stints - in an in a PMQ and I wasn't happy with my kitchen floor.

Ariel:

Who is?   Those are awful. 

Claudia:

So you know my husband goes away and as we all do, I was shopping and I came across those stick tile floors, right.   And… beautiful pattern black and white and again, it was a very small narrow galley kitchen. This was another A-frame house -I have a lot of experience in A-frame houses - with two kids, a cat and a dog and a husband with a whole bunch of kit. 

Ariel:

Sidebar: I don't know how you did that because usually they give you a bigger one if you've got two kids.

Claudia:

Because they always classified it as a three bedroom. 

Anyway, so I had these really nice black and white, sticky tile floors, and put them all down and they stayed down. But, you know, it's two years, I think three years we were in the PMQ with those tiles and then it's like, Oh, hey, you guys are posted. 

So you know, CFHA will come to the - will come to your house and they'll do like a pre-emptive inspection of your house.  What needs to be fixed - what you need to do in order to get it back to the way it was when you got in.

And of course, we'd been there a long time. So we had like ceiling fans in the kitchen, and all that kind of stuff. Ceiling fans were fine, fine, but he said the floors got to go. Like, okay, so husband comes back. 

And he's like, oh, and so there's me thinking I could get this up before he comes home. And a friend said to me, just take your hairdryer, right and then heat it up. And it comes right off. 

Yeah, that didn't work. I blew through two hair dryers.

Ariel:

Oh, man, what you needed was a heat gun. Those are different.

Claudia: 

Right, so my husband comes home in the middle of this mess and buys me a heat gun.

Ariel:

as one does…

Julie:

.. as a birthday present. 

Claudia:

And he of course, he wouldn't let me use it. So he was in charge of the heat gun.  And the tiles came off, but the sticky stuff didn't. And so, I was left to clean that sticky stuff up. And let me tell you, it was two nights of agony on my hands and knees getting that stuff up. 

And now he just jokes every time he sees a sticky tile floor. He's like, What do you think? And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Ariel:

So, I won't ask you to tell me what year this was in. But I'm guessing that the world of DIY home decor has come a bit of a way since then. And that when they say removable, they really mean

removable. 

Claudia:

We're talking 2004 .

Ariel:

Oh, yeah. So removable was not fully in the lexicon, you know?

Claudia:

No, it wasn't. But it sure looked nice when it was down.

Ariel:

I bet. 

Julie: 

So that cross between removable, ‘easy to take up’ and removable ‘is actually going to stay on your floor the entire time that you're living there.’ 

Ariel:

Yeah. And I was gonna ask, did you go the extra mile, like move your appliances to put on the floor? Or was there just this like lip, that dirt hid under?

Claudia:

I moved everything. 

Ariel:

That's determination. 

Julie:

So, people who follow your blog and follow you on social media know that you are no longer in a PMQ, you actually have moved out into the area? 

Ariel:

Well, you know what, I still get questions. They're like, how was this a PMQ? I'm like, Oh, this isn't sorry. 

Julie:

This is the magic PMQ that like is hidden. And I just sort of won like - what was it the golden ticket lottery? 

Ariel: 

Where you keep those? Do you get that on Amazon? 

Claudia:

When they take a picture of your house, I'm going to go to CFHA, I want a PMQ just like

this. 

Julie:

So I love the idea of you talked about the idea of a ‘home for two’.  We were posted to Petawawa for two years - seven years ago.

Ariel:

of course. 

Julie:

And when I was looking around, we were only coming for two years, right? So, we bought a house in one morning. I mean, I looked at nine houses.

‘I could live here for two years… ‘ so we put our money down.  And seven years later, you know where we think maybe we could retire here, and there's a lot of things now that I really don't like about the house. 

There's a lot of people who think you know, it's easier to buy a house when you're posted because you're only going to be here for two years. But I can't imagine the commitment of buying a house that I'm gonna live in for the rest of my life.

Ariel: 

You know what? I can't either. And it's sort of terrifies me I very much lean on the crutch of this is home for now. And you know - whether or not it's true - I always tell myself and people are like, no, no, this is just for now, it's not long term. 

And it's one of the reasons we chose to do a build now, when we did, because we will most likely build our forever home. And we didn't want to be learning all of the things we've learned with this build on our forever home.  When we went from a PMQ to a home, we went with something that we were like, Okay, this feels like you can reasonably do all of these things. 

 [00:14:30]

So, you know, you fall in love with the home, you get the inspection, it's an older home, you know, you're going to have to do some work. And as you're sitting there flipping through the binder, looking at the stuff that they're like, You should fix this, you're like, I could reasonably do all like 80% of this, and then I'll just save for the other. And then you don't actually think that there's going to be another 40 You didn't know what's coming. So that's kind of how that goes. 

But it meant that when we went into the build, you know, we had a better idea of what things should look like or cost or how they should go, etc. So, you know, in my mind, it's all experience - and it's such a valuable experience that you just don't necessarily get in a rental. 

But in a rental on the other hand, you get to try all kinds of things and you don't have to worry about the resale. I tell people that I was far more daring and adventurous in my decor in the rentals -in the PMQs -because I knew that I had to just change it back when I was leaving. I didn't have to try to sell the house with my version of taste on there. And when we sold our last home - so our first home - you know, we had a lot of wallpaper a lot of beautiful colors and I was like this could go one of two ways.  Someone will fall in love with what we've done - which is what happened - and they're meant to have this house.  Or, they’re gonna buy it for the bones and gut everything I've done. In which case I need to be prepared to take a hit - and no one wants to do that. 

So with our next home, I've definitely made choices that are maybe quote ‘more palatable to the general public’, but I still get questions like, Oh, are you going to do a crazy color in that space? And it's like, you know, 2015 Ariel absolutely. 2022 Ariel? No, I can't. I've got too much riding on this now. 

Julie:

Our last posting, we’d been in the house for a long time, and I had – no word of a lie - five red walls in that house sort of scattered around. And the real estate agent comes around and they're touring it - so change this, and this is going to come out.  And I think we had painted that house like 12 different shades of beige. And like, I got to keep one red wall. And I remember, as I was walking around painting every single wall beige, I was thinking this doesn’t feel like my house.  And I think that made it a little bit easier to leave, because it just didn't feel like me, you know, right? 

Ariel:

I mean, I don't think I ever sad to be walking out of a PMQ. It was like See you later. Bye. I'm on to the next 

Claudia:
What I'll tell you is this - I was so I was so excited when we moved from one base to another.  And you know at first, I'm thinking we're moving into a row house.  We've had an individual A-frame houses and that. And I walked into the house and I’m like - oh my heavens.  This is like the bedrooms are a really good size and everything is spread out.  My kitchen / dining room - the wall was out between the two - so it was open space.  And the best part of all, the walls in the PMQ were the same eggshell color, but the trim was white. And it didn't have like 10 layers of paint on it. I'm like, ‘This is modern’.  

Although it was a row house it was - we had really nice neighbors. And it was the biggest PMQ that we were in. 

Julie:

How many times have you moved Ariel? How many times have you been posted?

Ariel:

So. we met in Kingston, and then I we came together to Gagetown. We were here for under a year. Then we went to Valcartier for three years. And then we've been here. This is our sixth year. 

But within each posting, we've had some moves. So, when we were in Gagetown the first time, that was our one spot. But in Quebec we started in one row house and had like some serious troubles with neighbors, so we had to get CFHA to give us a different one. So, we moved PMQs on our own - so that was like one intrabase move on our own. 

And then when we came here, we were in the PMQ, but then we moved into our first home. And now we're in a rental and this weekend, we move into our home that started being built. 

So we've done quite a few moves at this point. 

In my mind, I'm just going up the rungs on the ladder here. Because in Valcartier it was very much this very tiny unrenovated PMQ in a row house.  We were really smack dab in the middle and the walls are paper thin and I swear to God, one of our neighbors would vacuum the walls at 6AM so it was just not a good situation. And then we moved into one of the older PMQs. 

Do you remember when the PMQs used to be rank-segregated?  We moved into where the old officer quarters used to be, so we had a very nice home.  It was where I really sparked my love for retro - because it had 50s era finishes.  It had this beautiful exposed brick wall on like half the house as walls and it had beautiful tall ceilings, really cool retro light fixtures. It was amazing. I loved that spot. I didn't love the snow - or the posting - but I loved that PMQ.

And then when we came to Gagetown, I got to kind of like shop around.  I was like okay you're telling us are only giving us x many rooms but give me three houses to look at. I imposed myself sufficiently that they let us do that. You know, we got to tour a very nice, renovated row house but it was not what we want it to be.  And then we got to see to A-frames and we chose the newest of the A-frames even though it's shared walls, I feel like came PMQs is always a series of trade offs, you know, space or you know newness, shared walls or a fence like it's always just finding the compromise you can live with.

[00:19:20]

Claudia:

Yeah, we had two postings to Gagetown. The first was in an A-frame. 

On the second time we got posted back with one less dependent, so we had a smaller two-bedroom house.  And try fitting your biggest PMQ with all that furniture into the smallest PMQ you've ever been in.  But it's interesting that you say that because it really is what you make of it, right. Like you find the best way to move your stuff around.  Like there's times where we've been in a house where it's like don't go looking My basement because that's where…

Ariel:

There be dragons...

Claudia:

That's where the stored stuff is. You can't fit in the rest of the house.

Julie:

I wanted to ask you - because I think that one of the challenges we hear a lot of times from families - not just finding a house and find that kind of thing But the idea of moving so often and finding a home, finding a career, finding a job 

Ariel:

Oh God it's so hard.

Julie: 

Well you created something for yourself.  Like when you when you are going to school and when you're creating this thing like – 

The life that you have now…  the business that you have built…. the blog that you have built. Did you have any idea where that was going to go when you did that little blog post? Could you have ever imagined this design would be where you are?

ArieI 

I started the blog and my social channels trying to find a sense of community that I was sorely lacking in the initial months of our first posting, you know.  Of course, I look back at the sisterhood - if you want to call it - that I need on our first posting.  And those are my Ride-or-Die. I still call them weekly. Like they will never not be in my life and they were a huge part of the support for what I've done.

And I started it with the intention of finding a way to occupy myself, create my own life.  You know, when I speak to a lot of new spouses the biggest question I get - and it's usually kind of in private when they ask. And they're not self-confident when they say it - but it's like: How do you deal when they're gone?

My only answer is: girl you make your own life, set your own schedule, and get your own life going.  Because they're going to come and go all the time.

If you're in it for the long haul, it's not going to change. So you need something that is just yours, that doesn't change when they're gone. Like yeah you have to plough the driveway and take out the trash when they're gone, but if you have craft or a hobby or a side gig - that is yours no matter what.

I had the immense fortune of starting the blog right when there was the beginning of the groundswell for online work and being your own – you know #girlboss - and I really got to ride that.  

And combined a little bit of business acumen and seeking out the blogging community online and try to just make money off it.  I was like No way no one is making money.  I'm going to make money.  And I did - I do.

But  it comes with having had a distinct space within the online world - within various communities. It is it comes with the know-how and years of connections and they never-ending need to update your skill set.

When YouTube really started to become a serious requirement for content creation, I was like I don't want to do video. I don't like doing video.  I want to be able to edit - I don't want to have to edit. To learn Premier Pro, right? 

Julie:

Claudia feels your pain.  She doesn’t want to be online on YouTube or on video either.  That's why we have a podcast where you can only hear us.

Ariel:

I hear you - but then it was okay.  

So Instagram has stories. And it's funny, in my day job right now when I produce a lot of content - and when I’m producing people on-screen I can tell who is you doing stories on Instagram and who is not. 

You put me in front of camera I’ll talk, I'll figure it out.  I know where my mark is.  You want to stand here? say it again? I got you.  Other people don't. 

So, I just got I used to putting myself out there and then - before you know it I'm editing videos and doing TikToks and the whole shebang.  It's just finding what you're good at, getting good at it, paying people to do things you don't want to do it. Then just moving on.

[00:23:10]

Julie:

do your favorite part of it? like one of the streams or one of things that you just have more of an affinity for - that you love doing the most.

Ariel:

 On the Creator side I absolutely love styling. I love picking the colors - the patterns – the everything like that.  It scratches an itch deep in my brain Where it's like I need to put this color with pattern or else.  

And then on the business side, I absolutely love pitching.  I love selling my idea, reaching the negotiation, knowing that I'm getting my worth and my rate, and that I am doing work, and I feel good about it because my time is being compensated.  

I am so, so fortunate to be at the point in my blogging career now where I can turn things down  if it’s now my rate. Now if it's not always the case - and it's not going to be the case forever.  I'm sure it'll be like for people who are starting out. You know, you have to value yourself and you have to tell people what you're worth, because no one will just automatically give you you're worth.  So, you have to be your own best advocate but you have to also prove your worth. Sometimes it means taking a hit and doing the thing. Because you need to do 10 projects for $200 in order to do whatever they want to.  Then after a certain point you're like No I'll do this one project for X number of dollars.  

At this point I'm trading time for money.  I'm trading time with my daughter, I'm trading time with my husband, I'm trading time with family.  I'm trading it for money so that has to be worth it to me now

Julie:

Is that like a skill that you've developed over time? Because I think there's a lot of military spouses - they've moved from community to community, and they feel like they have to take work sometimes that they don't - not necessarily want it - but they need it to survive.  and sometimes you don't necessarily - because you've moved and you've always been the new kid. You haven't had that chance that build reputation. Sometimes it's hard to say no to those things when you don’t know when the next thing is coming.

Ariel:

I mean those are unfortunately called choiceless decisions. 

You can make the best choice in the world - but it's only the best choice if you had good choices to make.  So in my mind it's having an exit plan. I never took a low-paying gig, or took a job that I hated with the intent of staying there forever.  It was okay, this pays my bills while I look for the next thing. That's just how you figure it out 

Julie:

And you built something of your own. 

Ariel:

I have but I'm also I'm super aware of the fact that like being able to create a Digital career is something that previous generations - I'm saying this in air quotes - of spouses did not have an option to do. 

And getting the golden goose job on Base that transferred and gave you access to internal postings like those jobs are so few and far between.  My biggest piece of advice is always - up your education and always look for something that you can bring with you.  For some people that is a multi-level marketing sales position. For some people that's you know working for a national corporation, for others that's creating a digital space.  Far be it for me to look down on anybody.

I made my space in the digital world and it's fantastic I get to bring it But I'm also you know super were privileged that I had to do that.

[00:25:45]

Julie:

 So what's next for you?

Ariel:

HGTV - call me girl.

I'd love to be on TV.

Right now, I have two jobs.  So, I have a day job - 9 to 5 - which I find immensely satisfying.  It's essentially a corporate version of what my blog was - but just a different industry.  I don't know how I lucked into it.

I lucked into a government – permanent - pensioned position doing what I love - in a pandemic.  Like who gives that up that, right?  I'm very happy and I'm a very fulfilled with that position for the moment - but I also do immense validation from continuing PMQ For Two.   

I get to be really choosy about what I do on PMQ For Two.  I'm no longer beholden to doing something every single day of the week in order to get what I need to do.  I have made the conscious decision to slow it down, and really focus on what I like to do.  And that's not to say that I didn't like what I was doing before, but it was just at a higher pace, maybe than what I would have thought to do.

So I don't see my myself letting go of either.  What I see myself doing is changing paces on them to suit.  In this current posting I have this position. It's a geographically-tied position, but I still have my blog and I would be a fool to give up my blog knowing that I could get posted one day.  So all I can do is continue to keep my blog a relevant and important part of my life – and my family's life and my income streams - and look to make those connections. 

So if someone asks me what's next you know I'd like to get my MBA.  I have my MA, but a masters of business administration is for me - that next step from being the person on the ground to being the person in the office who makes two pay bands hinger.  So if I am being strategic, I want my MBA.

Julie: 

The Pinterest thing - can you talk about that?

Ariel:

Absolutely so this year I was named in Pinterest’s first-ever creator class for Pinterest they've never done this.  They have one for Canada, Australia, England and the US.  And I am one of Canada's 10 Pinterest creators.

I am the only person in the Home Décor sphere - I am, for sure, the only Military Spouse.  It's been such a surreal experience because they've chosen to name these people and give us the positions based on our collective and individual body of work through time.

 So I obviously have a decade of content up there. I have a decade of mistakes,  of lessons learned, of public failures, of mea culpas.  But also of striving towards inclusion, and creating a more open dialogue, and being really open with other bloggers about things like pay rates and, you know content and deliverables - stuff like that.

I really think that the pie that is content creation on the internet is a huge pie, and you could slice it any number of ways. And just because you get a piece of pie doesn't mean my piece is get smaller.  

The team at Pinterest has been super plugged in, and connected, and looking for people such as myself and the Nine others who do this sort of thing. And who are bringing really interesting things to the platform and the Creator Community in general.

Julie:

You said something that made me think -  It's something I've heard a lot during the pandemic times. It's just the idea of - the concept of scarcity and how a lot of people think that if somebody else is getting something that it's taking away from you.  But in reality - I think for all of us for military spouses for all of us in general - by building into other people Like the water level rises and all the boats go up.

Ariel:

Lifting tides lift all boats. It's absolutely the case. And You know you may not get the position but cheer your sister on who got it right?

Claudia: 

I've been following your blog for a couple years now and you can tell definitely see the growth that you've developed over the years.

Ariel:

Thank you 

Claudia:

You know I kind of wish for myself - back when I was first married and in a PMQ with little ones running around - having access to social media to get ideas and suggestions, you know. It's a whole new era of accessing information and having the strength and ability to go to extent that you're going to.  You should be so very proud of yourself.

Ariel:

Thank you

[00:27:35]

Claudia: 

Yeah I really appreciate you joining us today and it's always great to share the stories and just see how much military spouses can do out there.

Ariel:

I was gonna say I'm not the only home decor Mil spouse out there in Canada.  And in some of the bigger spouse groups, you know, a couple times a year there's a new person who shows up and I am right there for them. I go hit follow. I like. I check out their content, I give page views.  I reach out Hey, have any questions let me know I was there. I'm happy to help because at the end of the day, we're not all in the same decor sphere. We're not all looking for the same thing, right.  And the more opportunities we give each other in the community, the better. 

Claudia:

Whether it's decorating your house, building your home, struggling through employment, or just even trying to get a grasp of the military lifestyle. I think that's one of the most positive things about my experience anyway as a military spouse, is that camaraderie.

It's really true what they say – you’re never really saying goodbye. It's really until you See you later, right? Because cross paths all the time and with social media now it's even that much easier to stay connected.

Ariel:

Absolutely. And it's funny when I try to explain this to our civilian friends.  So, we've been at this posting for six years now I have made roots in the community outside the military. I find strength in both of them. And when I explain, you know how it's like, yeah, I'm sick, but someone's going to drop something off or of course, they're going to come help move. Right. My civilian friends look at me, like, that's presumptuous for you to expect thatand I'm like, No, it's because I do it for them and they're gonna do it for me. And we don't need to see each other often, but it's just a given. I will say though, the pandemic has done so much to erode a lot of the networks that we rely on as spouses, but I have hope.

Julie:

Can you imagine how hard it must be to be posted during a pandemic? You know, those initial months when you're sort of getting in the community and like finding all these spaces? Do you ever bounce back from that?  Like, you know, two years into a posting, you'd haven't had a chance to explore you haven't made those friends? I can't imagine how hard it must be to sort of all of a sudden two years in still feel like you're new.

Ariel:

And you know what, like, I think I think that's a mental calculation that everybody has to make right.  If you're at that two-year point and you don't have any attachment to the area. It's like yeah, let's pull pin and go elsewhere. I want to start fresh, or you can live in that era of, oh, I wish I had known this sooner. Right? Just as it's always about your, your attitude, it's for up everybody.

[00:31:55]

Claudia:

I think the whole concept of the move is different, too. Right? Like, you know, as soon as your posted you know that you're either going to go on your HIT or your HHT and even that looks different now. 

Anybody moving into a PMQ, a lot of them are being sight unseen. You don't get to walk through, you know.  You get a - here's a list of two or three choices, and they give you a layout of the floor plan and it isn’t necessarily - the floorplan doesn't tell you what you're moving into. When you buy a house, you know, when you look at the real estate, you can say to someone send me more pictures. There's more information on a house that you are buying in the community than it is on a PMQ. 

How many times do you see on social media- Hey, you know, we just got this PMQ.  Can someone swing by and take some pictures 

Ariel:

all the time. 

Claudia:

So, when you talk about a move through the pandemic, it starts from the minute that, you know your husband comes home and says Hey, or your spouse - your partner - says hey, you know, we may be posted and right away that spouse is already googling that next base. So,

right? 

Ariel:

Oh, yeah. But before I had my anxiety under control, I had plans upon plans, upon plans, and it kept me up at night.  And, you know, looking back and like okay, that was a bit much. But you know, I'm sure everybody goes through it to certain extent.

And this is one of those places where social media really comes in because you can reach out and ask that community. 

Another sidebar here. I remember - I volunteer, I try to volunteer wherever we go. I find it's a good way to get a pulse on the community – maybe meet some. people. 

And I've volunteered at the Family Center in Valcartier. One of the first kind of projects I got to participate on was speaking to spouses who had been there in the 50 years that the base had been there - or the Family Center. 

And I remember speaking to the women who had been posted with their spouses to Germany back in the 50s and 60s. So like you had to make an appointment to do a call, and them telling us about the just like the emotional isolation and hardships of not just being able to pick up the phone and call.  And I'm just like you talk about strength, like that's something and going through personal tragedy and everything. 

Claudia:  

Yeah, so because when you are posted to Germany, you didn't have a phone in your house.  You had to walk around to the corner to the payphone.

Ariel: 

And here I am texting people that – Like God. This sucks or whatever you know, like, it's all relative, you know.  

So they didn't have a pandemic, but they had no phones. I trade it off, and I know that we've been making it through forever, and we'll continue to try to find a way to make it through.

Julie:

Before we go tell us where people can find you.

Ariel:

My handle across every social media channel is PMQ For Two and I am going to spelled it out because people think it's the number 42 

But it's PMQ F-O-R T-W-O  You can find me on from Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube, Tik Tok 

Julie:

We will put all of your context stuff in the show notes so people can keep in touch with you. And thank you so much for joining us

Ariel:

Hey, likewise. And to anybody who hears the podcast and you have questions, please don't hesitate to reach out. I answer all of the DMS I get.

Julie:

thanks Ariel.

Claudia:

thanks Ariel.

And that's it for this episode of Military Family Life - from one military family member to another. 

If you have any advice that you would like to share, let us know we would love to hear from you. We may even share your experiences on future episodes. If you have family and friends who want to learn more about living their best military family life, don't hesitate to let them know about our podcast. 

Thanks for listening. Join us again next time for more military family life.