Our Conversation with Laura Frey

This month we are chatting with Laura Frey.

Over the years Laura has worn a number of hats including: Military Spouse, Mom, CAF Member, Fitness Competitor and Grandma.

Laura is currently posted to Halifax and is serving on the HMCS Charlottetown.

As Army Spouses – living on a Garrison that is mostly Army – our hosts had plenty of questions about life on board a ship.

In this conversation we talk about Laura’s career in the military, the ins and outs of life at sea and her physical transformation as she trained for – and competed in – a fitness competition.

Trigger Warning:  This episode does include conversations about suicide and suicide ideation.  We encourage you to listen with care.

We want to hear from you!

Is there a guest that you would like us interview – or a topic that you would like us to talk about?  If so, please let us know.

 We would love to hear your suggestions and feedback. You can reach us at Podcast.Feedback@PetawawaMFRC.com or by contacting the Petawawa Military Family Resource Centre.

Transcript

Intro: 

Welcome to Military Family Life, the podcast for Canadian Military family members, by Military family members. Do you ever wish you had a guidebook or mentor to help you with some of the challenges you're facing as part of a military family, each episode we're going to bring you the stories of people who have been there. They're going to share the lessons that they've learned along the way to help you live your best military family life.  

Julie [00:00:26]:  

Hi, and welcome back to Military Family Life. My name is Julie Hollinger. This month we are chatting with Sergeant Laura Frey. Over the years Laura has worn a number of hats; She's been a military spouse, a mom, a CAF member, a fitness competitor and a grandma. Currently she's posted to Halifax and she's serving on the HMCS Charlottetown.  

As army spouses, living on a Garrison that is mostly army, my co-host Claudia Beswick and I had so many questions about life on a ship. If you have ever wondered about what it's like to be on a ship, this is the episode for you. In this conversation, we talked to Laura about her career in the military, the ins and outs of life at sea and about her physical transformation as she trained for and competed in a fitness competition. 

Before we start, we do want to let you know that this episode does include some discussion about suicide and suicide ideation. We encourage you to listen with care. We hope you enjoy our conversation with Laura Frey.  

Julie [00:01:20]: 

Hi and welcome Laura! It's great to have you. We always start these conversations by allowing our guests to introduce themselves. We are very excited to have you join us here on Military Family Life. Can you just - I guess - Introduce yourself talk about what your connection is to the military and what it is you do.  

Laura: 

My name is Laura Frey. I'm originally from Vancouver, British Columbia. I have no connection to the military whatsoever. It's all I've ever wanted to do, though as far back as I can remember. So, here I am.  

Julie: 

So, you didn't grow up in a military home? 

Laura: 

Absolutely not.  

Julie: 

So, what is it you do with the military?  

Laura: 

I'm a supply tech. Right now, I'm working on HMCS Charlottetown with the Navy. 

Julie: 

So, we are very excited to have you join us because you are the first person that we have had join us that can talk about what life is like in the Navy. So, we're going to sort of come back to that. So, you've been in the military for quite some time as a regular service member, but also as a reservist? 

Laura: 

Yes. 

Julie: 

What inspired you to make that transition?  

Laura:  

I had – I was a single mom of three kids and they kind of liked having food to eat and roof over their heads. So, I made the jump from the reserves to the reg force; just for that security. 

Julie: 

So how old were your kids when you joined? 

Laura: 

2004, so they would have been; my math is horrible. I know my youngest was five. So – what - five, seven and nine.  

Julie: 

And where were you living at the time?  

Laura: 

Gagetown, New Brunswick.  

Claudia [00:02:45]: 

That's where I met Laura, when I was working at the MFRC in Gagetown and she was a frequent user of the services there.  

Laura:  

It was our second home.  

Claudia: 

Yeah, I got to meet her - her little ones. And its surprising how many years have gone by and now they have kids of their own because I constantly see pictures of you with your grandbabies. So - 

Julie: 

So, what does that conversation look like when you sit down the five-, seven- and nine-year-old and say “Mom's joining the army?”  

Laura: 

While I was - I was working on a Class B contract at the time so, it really wasn't much of a change. The biggest change was the year-long custody battle and sure - like after I got in, so I spent the year driving back and forth between Sheerwater and Gagetown to see my kids on the weekend. 

Julie: 

That's - that's a lot of time in your car. 

Laura: 

That is a very long time in my car. 

Claudia: 

So, Laura, you talk about you're obviously army.  

Laura: 

Yes.  

Claudia: 

And you're in Halifax working on a Navy base.  

Laura: 

Yep.  

Claudia: 

Talk a little bit about the differences that you see - because Gagetown is an army base as well and you spent plenty of time there. I know you had a - a posting to Wainwright as well. I think you got there right after we left, actually. 

Laura: 

I did. Yeah. I loved Wainwright. 

Claudia: 

What - what are some of the differences between the army and the navy lifestyle - with families, with the - with the kiddos, that kind of stuff? 

Laura: 

As far as the family's go - because my whole time with the Navy, I've been an empty nester, so it hasn't really, really played in for me, but I know that the people that work for me that have small children at home, we’re very accommodating. If they need to leave the ship for whatever reason, as long as we're not sailing, obviously they get the time off to deal with the family matters and whatnot. But personally, I can't really speak on it because yeah, my kids are grown. So – 

Claudia [00:04:45]:  

What was it like? I mean, obviously - is your office on a ship?  

Laura: 

My office is on the ship. I'm on a ship every day.  

Claudia:  

So, did you kind of think to yourself, “hey, this is cool.” Like one day you're going into an office in this brick building and then the next day you're going on your office on a ship?  

Laura: 

The big difference to get used to was, every day at 10 o'clock there’s soup and they serve – they serve me lunch every day.  

Claudia: 

That's awesome.  

Laura: 

Right? And if - once you're done eating, if you need a nap, you have a bed there at work. So, you just go to your mess and rack out - as they call it - for half an hour or whatever.  

Julie: 

Now do you sometimes live on the ship and sometimes just work on the ship? I have - I have no experience with navy and I apologize to any of the Navy listeners who are listening - who understand this already. But for those of us who don’t if you could sort of walk us through it? 

Laura: 

So, when we're alongside our - our everyday workday is 7:50 to 3:45. You come on the ship, do your workday, and go home. If you're on duty, there's - there's always a duty watch every single day. So, it’s a 24-hour duty, yeah and you're from 7:30 to 7:30. So, you're spending the night on the ship.  

Julie: 

And then when you deploy, you're on- so, typically how long does the deployment lasts for - for Navy?  

Laura:  

I just – I just came back from a deployment; we were gone for six months.  

Claudia:  

How was your first deployment on the ship, in the open water? Did – Did you have your sea legs? Like did you have any of the - what is it? 

Laura: 

Seasickness? So, my - my first sailing experience was in 2019 on board HMCS St. Johns and I did an exercise called “Formidable Shield”. So, it was two and a half months at sea. We did a few day sails before that. And yeah, I get seasick. So, I eat a lot of Gravol. I have a routine now where, I take Gravol the night before a sail, the morning of a sail and then like 20 minutes after we leave the wall, I take my last dose of Gravol, we do our verification muster, and then I rack out for about four hours and then I'm good to go.  

Claudia [00:06:55]: 

Does it get any better? 

Laura: 

Like- So, once you get that Gravol into your system, like for me, I have that routine and it works great. So, after the first day, I'm fine, unless we – So, my first two and a half months sail we went into France and of course going through the rivers is nice and calm - Once we hit the Atlantic again to come home, I spent my whole 47th birthday in bed - the entire day. Because I needed to get that Gravol system back into me because I was – Went from calm waters to the rough Atlantic Ocean. So, after the first day I’m fine. 

Julie: 

Now the people you're deploying with have done this before. Is there – like - knowledge that's passed on from person to person of the “Okay. Oh, so you're feeling sick. Here's what I do.” is that - is that something you sort of do? You're watching for the newbies? 

Laura: 

Oh, for sure. Yeah, there's a lot of - there's a lot of tricks, a lot of people say keep a half-filled water bottle in front of you’s, it gives you a fake horizon to look at. A lot of people spend a lot of time in the smoking area, just getting fresh air and just being outside. A lot of crackers are consumed and a lot of Gravol is consumed.  

Claudia [00:08:05]: 

Talk about some of the places that you've gone - like my understanding of, you know the Navy – You go to a lot of, you know, different countries and that kind of stuff. Have you gotten to experience that yet? 

Laura: 

If my math is correct, I've gone to - I want to say 13 different countries in the last four years.  

Claudia: 

Wow. 

Laura: 

I did six countries my first sail.  

Claudia:  

What's your favorite country that you've been to? 

Laura: 

Malaga, Spain was really nice, but I think my favorite was Madeira Funchal, which is Portuguese owned island.  

Claudia: 

And do you get to go - get off the ship and explore? 

Laura: 

Yeah. 

Claudia:  

- when you have time? Yeah. 

Laura: 

This- this deployment was very unique because it was a kind of a COVID deployment- it kind of wasn't. So our chances to come home were very limited and our chances to bring partners or whatever over we're extremely limited.  

Claudia: 

Do your kids ever want to go visit you when you go to these exotic places?  

Laura: 

I don’t know, I never really asked them. 

Julie: 

Is it as exotic if you're being a mom or?  

Claudia: 

Do you have a least favorite place? 

Laura: 

Berlin was my least favorite place we were in. 

It was really grungy - very - we were told not to - pretty much not go anywhere because it was sketchy and scary and a lot of crime and whatnot. It was Belfast, Ireland, that’s what it was!  

Julie:  

Oh, okay. 

 Laura: 

Yeah. 

Claudia: 

And so, do you prefer being on the ship or are you looking forward to your next posting? 

Laura [00:09:48]: 

Definitely looking forward to my next posting, I enjoy sailing. The alongside work, not so much. I would rather be at sea if I'm going to be on a ship, but I am hopefully going to get a land deployment with the good ol’ army. So, I can compare the two and wrap up my career with that hopefully.  

Julie: 

So, is there a culture for each ship? I mean, do you sort of – like - make - because maybe it was six months with a group of people on - any size vessel I would imagine - There's - there develops I guess your own culture. Like how does that work when you are deployed with a group of people, and you really can't get off the boat for long periods of time? How does that culture develop - or that family structure I guess develop?  

Laura: 

Well on the - on the ship, you have your three separate messes. You have your officers mess, you have your junior ranks and your senior NCOs. So, like there's only, I think 34 senior NCOs on board ship - junior ranks, there's like 100 and something so they definitely more have a - They have more of a family feel than the rest of us do. Like I know for me on my deployment, I had a core group of about five or six people that I hung around in port with because we all have managed to be off on the same days and whatnot.  

So, we just kind of were our own little family went out together - took care of each other because you don't go out in port alone.  

Claudia: 

That's pretty cool. You said you're from the BC area. And now you're on the East Coast. Do you miss being closer to home or?  

Laura: 

Yeah, well - Yeah, that's - that was one of my main draws to go to Wainwright was I could drive home from Wainwright. I didn't think I would like Wainwright as much as I actually do. So yeah, it's my number one posting preference. So, I'm hoping to get back there. I was supposed to go to Cold Lake this summer and that got canceled. So, I was a little disappointed, but – 

Julie: 

People said that about Petawawa too. I thought it was - I didn't think I was going to like it as much as I actually do.  

 Laura: 

Yeah. 

Julie [00:11:45]: 

I think there's a couple of bases across Canada that people like, “oh, I don't want to go there” and then once they get there they – 

Laura: 

Oh, absolutely.  

Julie: 

they're- they’re - They're fans. Absolutely.  

Laura: 

Yup.  

Julie: 

Now how many how many postings have you had? 

Laura: 

Shearwater, Wainwright, and Halifax and well Gagetown as a reservist and with my ex-husband.  

Claudia: 

Now there is something to be said for Wainwright because I did leave a daughter there after one of our -after our posting to Wainwright. She is still there. 

Laura: 

I did the same thing!  

Claudia: 

Yeah, I she still there.? 

Laura: 

Totally, I was just there like - I was there three weeks ago.  

Claudia: 

We left there in – Oh my heavens – 2006? She had just graduated- 

Laura: 

Okay.  

 Claudia: 

- and decided that “yeah, I'm not coming back to Gagetown don't want any of that” and still happily enjoying her time in Wainwright and has no interest in leaving. So –  

Laura: 

Tor is the exact same way; she had no desire to leave. She came home for about three months and then she went “Nope. I’m going back.” 

Julie: 

So, what's that experience when you're posted somewhere, and you realize that not everyone's coming? I know, I've heard it from Claudia’s perspective and I'd love to hear it from yours.  

Laura: 

It's a mixture. It's heartbreaking, but at the same time, you're - you're proud of their independence and they're- they’re wanting to be out on their own. But at the same time, I wanted to have all of my kids back together again. Right?  

So, because when I was in Wainwright I had one of the three with me. And now that I'm in Halifax, I have two of the three with me. So- 

Julie: 

They take turns.  

Laura: 

Yeah.  

Claudia [00:13:21]: 

Laura, just to shift gears a little bit and I want to talk about your journey with the bodybuilding. And kind of what - what was your mindset doing that? And I didn't even realize that you had done it until I seen the PSP video on your journey, which I think is remarkable. You looked amazing.  

Laura: 

Thank you.  

Claudia: 

So, congratulations for that. And - and I can imagine it takes a lot of strength and persistence to do that. And to stand up and do all that bodybuilding stuff to. That's - That's amazing. So good on you. But can you talk a little bit about that?  

Laura: 

So, like you want to know like, what got me into it or?  

 Julie: 

Absolutely. I have so many questions!  

Claudia: 

Whatever - Whatever you're willing to share. I was just amazed and so proud of you. When I saw that - that clip from PSP – 

Laura: 

Yeah 

Claudia: 

Because you had posted it on your social media site. That's where I first saw it. It's like holy, Wow, good for you. It was amazing. 

Laura: 

Well, thank you. Yeah, that was probably one of the darkest points in my life was - is what got me into that. So, I left Wainwright with a partner and came to Halifax. We got married shortly after we got here. And then November 17, 2017, our phone rang at about three in the morning. And I could hear her ex on the other end of the line, screaming about whatever and I knew - as soon as I heard his voice I knew because we knew with Ian that it wasn't a matter of if he took his own life it was going to be a matter of when.  

So, as soon as that phone rang and I heard him, I knew without even asking her, I knew what was going on. And that - yeah, that changed our lives for - some of it for the better and some of it for the not so good.  

So, Ian and I didn't have a very good relationship. So yeah, I kept him at arm's length. And because of me, he didn't live with us because I had too many rules - I held him accountable and he wasn't used to that he didn't want to do it. 

So, I had a lot of guilt when he died because I believed that if he was living with us, then he wouldn't have had to fight with his father that - and it ended up ending his life. Yeah, so I struggled for a long time.  

I struggled very hard from November until the end of March I sat down and had lunch with a friend of mine, and we were both going to the gym together. We were workout buddies and stuff and two-and-a-half-hour lunch date pretty much changed my life because I went to the gym the next day and I sat down with one of the owners and I said I need to make a change or I'm not coming back. Meaning like I already had a plan I was - I was going to end my life. Like I knew - I knew what I was going to do. 

And she hooked me up with a new trainer in the gym and just her and I clicked and went from there. And that catapulted my weight loss journey. And led me into the gym - into bodybuilding and to do this show.  

 Julie [00:16:30]: 

Was it a goal that you were looking for? Was it a routine or was it just something to focus on? 

Laura: 

Something to focus on, I needed a purpose. So, I - I ended up going to a show and watching it and I remember there was a lady from Fredericton, who was doing a transformation challenge, which, ironically enough is what I'm doing right now to try and get back to where I was. And she was a rather large lady, but, oh man, she owned that stage. She came out there and she was proud of what she had done. And I thought good on her, like her transformation challenge. It was great. And then they started the actual show, and she came out and competed in bikini. And I'm like, “holy crap”.  

I went into this show thinking there's no way I could ever do this. And then this lady walks out and totally blew my mind and it was like the switch went off and I'm like, “I'm going to do this. This is my goal. This is my purpose. This is what I'm going to do.” 

So, I got my license to be a personal trainer. I started training with a personal trainer three times a week, sort of working at a gym. I lived in the gym. I was in the gym from 2:30 until 10 o'clock, six days a week.  

Julie: 

What class did you compete in? 

Laura: 

I competed in figure. For my age group, it's considered grandmasters, but the - the actual so there’s bikini, figure and physique, and I competed in figure. 

Julie: 

I think Grandmaster is a kind title. Whenever I do a race or something and they have to pick the age category. It’s like “Is this really your business. I don't think this is your business.” 

Laura: 

Yeah,  

Julie: 

“I'm not planning to win like this is not your business how old I am”  

Laura: 

Yeah. 

Julie: 

So, how many hours does this involve in a day? Because I mean, this is a major undertaking. This isn't something I'm just going to do. So, you know how many hours a day and for over how long?  

Laura: 

So, while I was a little extreme, I lost 52 pounds and something like 67 or 69 inches in four months.  

Claudia: 

Wow.  

Julie: 

That’s like a person! A small person but- 

Laura: 

Yeah.  

Julie: 

So, is it – is it like twice a day like how long are you in the gym? 

Laura [00:18:45]: 

I used to think I had to be in the gym for hours. I found out through this process that a good 45-minute weight workout with 30 to 45 minutes of cardio is all you need. Really, it comes down to your - your meals and what you're putting into your body. So let me tell you, I'm pretty sick of chicken and rice or chicken and broccoli, but it works.  

Claudia: 

I do remember you had shared a couple of pictures, right? Of some of what your lunch – 

Laura: 

Yeah, 

Claudia: 

Your lunch groupings were that you were taking into work. Yeah, 

Laura: 

Yeah.  

Claudia: 

Listen, you - I'm sorry that that was the start of your journey but the strength and the resiliency that you'd had to - to be successful in that just shows, you know, how strong you are and - and I'm glad you met that friend for lunch that day.  

Laura: 

So am I.   

Claudia:  

Because that obviously started you know, started you down this path.  

Laura: 

Absolutely. 

Claudia: 

It’s amazing. Yeah. 

Laura: 

Yep. Unfortunately, she passed away just before Christmas. So- 

Claudia: 

Oh, no. I’m sorry to hear that.  

Laura: 

Yeah. So, my next - my next show is going to be dedicated to her.  

Julie: 

So, how do you train on a - train it – probably from a training perspective and also a food perspective when you're on a ship? 

Well, I mean, it's - there's got to be consideration like you can't be - like there's probably a little less soup 10 o'clock.  

Laura: 

Oh, absolutely.  

Claudia: 

Can you jump burpees? Like I - I was on a ship when we were in BC for a conference and they took us on one I'm like, “it's a good thing. I'm short” because you know, there's not a lot of space in there.  

Laura [00:20:20]: 

No, so thankfully when I was doing that show, I was posted to Temi. So, I wasn't on a ship yet. 

The good thing about being on a ship is every meal there's fish. So, my meal plan right now is fish three times a day. So, right now because we're alongside I'm taking my own meals to work, but I do supplement with salads and stuff at work. And if there's fish, I’ll have a fresh plate of fish over microwave chicken or fish or whatever I've got.  

Julie: 

Are you colleagues supportive?  

Laura: 

Absolutely. Yeah.  

Claudia: 

And do you get the support from work to take the time to do your workouts or do your competitions that kind of stuff? 

Laura: 

The unit I was with when I competed the first time. Absolutely, I was off everyday by two o'clock to go to the gym. For the transformation challenge I'm doing right now, my ship was supposed to be sailing. Starting the middle of October till the middle of December. We are not sailing but I was already approved to be landed for the first two weeks of the sail so that I could stay home and compete. And then I was going to beat the ship in Boston, but things have changed since that memo went in because we did a crew swap and I'm no longer on that other ship. So yeah, we're not sailing anytime soon. 

Julie: 

Okay, so because - as you get closer to the competition, the amount of food and the selection of food narrows considerably and it affects - it affects your you know, your - it affects your mental abilities. It affects your energy level; it affects a lot of things. How do you sort of work around your job around the fact that you know all you've had is like chicken and broccoli three times today?  

Laura: 

Absolutely.  

Julie:  

Because quite frankly, I'm telling you, I would not be a good co worker. If all I was allowed to eat would be chicken and broccoli that - there would be some concerns. 

Laura: 

I don't know if it's because I'm ADHD or what, but I find it doesn’t bother me - the lack of food and the lack of variety of food. I don't care. 

Claudia: 

Laura, what - what would be a bit of advice that you would give to someone who may be interested in doing bodybuilding and is just too afraid to try. 

Laura: 

Find a good coach, someone that you click with, someone that you can rely on, someone - Like my poor coach when I first met her, I blew up her phone. I questioned everything. I - yeah, like if she told me to eat chicken and rice at 10 o'clock every day, I questioned why, I questioned if I could substitute chicken with something else. Like I said, I lit up her phone, no word of a lie. But her and I just clicked and knowing that I had to check in with her every Monday was - I didn't want to disappoint her and I didn't want to disappoint myself, so it was the accountability that I needed. And I'll tell you, I was devastated my first weigh in because I got on the scale, and I was up a pound and a half and then we did measurements, and I was down nine and a half inches. So- 

Claudia [00:23:25]: 

You take the good with the bad. Is that what you're saying? 

Laura: 

Right!  Yeah, but you got to find that one person or a couple of people that you really click with and trust the process. That's the main thing is trust the process. 

Julie: 

I have a kind of a follow up, sideways question to that. I think there's a lot of women out there that might be reluctant to do it. But I think that also there's an age category element. I think there are some women that think that “once I get past a certain age, this is the kind of thing that isn't available to me. This is sort of like only younger women do that, my body's not going to be able to do that. I've had kids, I can't do that.” 

You're shaking your head like no. 

Laura: 

No. So, I do a posing session every week with my trainer, my nutritionist and one other competitor who I believe is in her late 40s, maybe early 50s and I hope I look like her when I get older, because she is amazing. Yeah, new to the sport. I think she's only been in it for two years. It's absolutely possible, even if you're older.  

Claudia: 

We call - we say more seasoned. We don't use the word older. Julie – 

Laura: 

Right!  

Claudia: 

-You should know this! 

Julie: 

What did your kids think when you did your first show? They must have been insanely proud. 

 Laura: 

Oh, they were blown away and my youngest flew in from Alberta. She was supposed to surprise me, but I ended up surprising her at the airport. Yeah, they were so supportive and so proud of me like even now Tor goes to the gym in Wainwright and takes a picture with my poster all the time and sends it to me. So-  

Julie: 

Did you inspire them to start working out or was it something that was - your family had done? 

Laura: 

Oh no, we don't work out. 

But - but my son started coming to the gym that I was working at and my youngest still goes to the gym all the time now.  

Claudia: 

Laura, if someone wanted to start bodybuilding, is it a costly venture? Is it something that, you know, when you talk about all the lean food or the healthy food and you know, some of that stuff is expensive and you talk about nutritionists and trainers? Is it something that can be affordable if someone wanted to start that journey? 

Laura: 

It can be affordable. Yeah. Like, I don't pay a lot for my nutritionist and my trainer. Military people, obviously, we get the base gym for free. It all depends on - on where you're going to work out and what you're willing to spend on a trainer.  

Julie [00:25:50]: 

I’d like to circle back a little bit to you talked about your - one of your kids staying out west when you moved and the fact that you are proud of their independence. Did you think that - that character traits that they have, do you think that being military kids affected them?  

Laura:  

Honestly, I don't think it really did because their father was RCR so he wasn't moving anywhere. And until I joined the Reg Force, like we didn't move. We moved once to Ontario and that was – and that was only for a year long course. So, like we did 14 years in Gagetown before I got posted to Shearwater. And then the kids were there for four years and then we went to Wainwright by then my oldest was graduated, my middle one was a year away from graduation so – Tor is just stubborn like her mom so, her wanting to stay in Wainwright doesn't surprise me at all. But yeah, I don't think military plays into who they are whatsoever. 

Julie: 

We talked to a lot of people on the show who are in the service and one of the questions that we like to ask is when you're deploying and - and separated either for exercises or for any number of other reasons. What are the things that you do to stay connected with your family? What are the ways that you get past that separation sort of keep that connection and that bond with your - with either your kids or your partner or other members of your family?  

Laura: 

On the ship, we were fortunate. We had Wi Fi so, we could like just send regular text or whatever. FaceTiming was a little harder because even though we had Wi Fi, it was pretty crappy Wi Fi. So, we did a lot of FaceTiming when we were in port because then I just used my data and we’d FaceTime that way but really just FaceTime, texts and emails were the only ways to keep in touch.  

Julie: 

Did you have like a - I guess it's a different era because, I mean back in - back in the day when you were waiting for a call and like they always called on Thursdays. It's very different world than “Okay, we have Wi Fi and I can send you a text really whenever I want.” 

Laura: 

Yeah. 

Julie: 

How long have you sort of been involved as a military family - as a spouse – did you - had you lived through the “I'm waiting for a call on Thursday night” or the “I'm doing letters”?  

Laura:  

Absolutely. I've done the letters; I've done the get the phone call and you only have a certain amount of time before it cuts you of. Oh, yeah, I've been - I've been doing this since 1990. 

Julie [00:28:10]: 

Do you think having the Internet access all the time and that constant back and forth, is it easier to - to sort of be deployed? Or is it harder because you're sort of like half in, half out. 

Laura: 

I think people that are deployed that have small kids at home, I think technology is amazing. Because they're - like you said they're - they're there, but they're not. For me, it didn't really matter because it's just me. 

So, the grandkids. Yeah, I got - I got a 12-year-old, a five-year-old and a two year old grandsons, the 12 year old I could send texts and stuff to but really the youngest two, they just know that grandma’s gone. So, getting on FaceTime with me. They're there for like 10 seconds and they're done with it like, “Okay, I saw her”  

The- the four-year-old at the time, was upset because I FaceTimed him from the beach. So, it wasn't fair, apparently. 

Claudia:  

How did it feel going from the one that used to wrap up those deployment parcels? To being the one getting those deployment parcels? 

Laura: 

Yeah, I got one parcel from home. So, my now five-year-old grandson is my buddy. So, he sent me he called it his box of sunshine. So, he sent me a little, a little rainbow Piñata and everything else in the box was yellow. And that was the sunshine, so I got kinetic sand. I got bubbles, I got stress balls, I got gum. What else did I get? Peeps. Anything that was yellow came in that box and I'll tell you it was - after going several tours with not getting any mail at all. It was amazing to get. Actually, I think I did a TikTok about it.  

Julie: 

He must have also been so excited putting it together and knowing that - knowing that you were going to open it and see all these things and all these pieces. 

Laura: 

I babysat them last weekend and I got the rest of the box that didn't make it out in the mail. So- 

Claudia: 

Well, high five to your grandson, that sounds like a wonderful, wonderful deployment parcel to receive.  

Laura:  

Yeah, yeah. 

Claudia:  

Yeah, awesome. 

Laura:  

Yeah, he did well.  

Julie: 

I never thought of it from that perspective, being the person who sends the parcels - being the person who receives them and – 

Laura: 

Yeah, 

Julie: 

-and what does it mean because I remember being on my side. It was so exciting to be working with the kids, it was like a fun project, and I knew they would enjoy it. But you don't really see- understand the full impact on - on the other side until I guess - until you're there. 

Laura [00:30:28]: 

I didn't understand the impact of giving either until – So I - I got involved with Tiktok, like a year ago, the kids used to send me videos all the time and I'd watched one and go “yeah, this is stupid. I'll never get on it.” 

Yeah, well, I'm very active on Tiktok and I actually – So, we went into isolation five days before we deployed, so I started making Tiktoks. I was doing picture collages of all the food they left for us and whatnot. And I had a lady from Texas reach out, asking if she could send me care packages. I'm like, “Okay”  

So, the backstory is she had two brothers in the Navy, one has since passed on and the other one just recently retired. They used to send care packages to them all the time. It's something that her and her daughters did together, and they wanted to continue doing it. So, they asked if they could send me packages. Got five care packages from Texas. Let me tell you, it cost her 60 bucks American to send them to Halifax so that they can be shipped to me to wherever I was at. The work that went into them. They decorated the inside of the boxes. They sent stuff for me and my shipmates, like they were amazing. 

Claudia: 

That is a wonderful story. I did not realize you are on TikTok. So, I will have to look you up tonight. 

Julie: 

I might have to look you up as well. I was in the same boat as you the “I am too old for Tiktok” 

Laura:  

Yup!  

Julie:  

And kept getting videos for my kids. I remember logging on for the first time and saying “Is this all there is? What am I missing?”  

I'm like “It's just videos and then the next one.”  

And they're like “Wait, it gets addictive.” 

Claudia: 

An hour later. You're still sitting on the couch going through TikTok videos. 

Laura: 

I made a point of - I did at least two Tiktoks at every port that we went through. I did a TikTok while we were coming into port and then I made one or two TikToks of pictures that I took while I was in port. So, I got to share my deployment with everybody that follows me on TikTok.   

Julie [00:32:22]: 

What a great way to share not only with other people who might be interested in life in the Canadian Forces, but also with your family to sort of see those pieces and see those moments.  

Laura: 

Yeah,  

Julie: 

I still think I'm too old to be putting things on TikTok but I think it's a great idea. 

Claudia: 

I am definitely too old to be putting things on TikTok but I do spend enough time watching TikTok. 

Laura:  

Oh, yeah. It’s addictive.  

Julie: 

You – How – So, you said you have - I can't remember, how many years in the military? 

Laura: 

It’ll be 29 in January.  

Claudia: 

Do you think about what the transition out of the Forces is going to look like for you? Do you have any concerns? You know, like, we have talked to members that have gotten out, they’re- They're veterans now and there's that adjustment period, right? The military is your family for - for so many years and yes, you're in 29 years but you know you are a spouse for how many years before that. So, do you think about that yet or are you not there yet? 

Laura: 

I can retire in 19 months. I’m probably not going to retire in 19 months. I'll probably stay until 60s so, I got another 10 years if the body will hold up. Yeah, there's - there's days like this week's been a rough week for me. There's been - I've gone to work going “What am I doing? Do I really want to be here?” 

But I've heard that's normal after coming back from a deployment. So, we'll see how it goes. 

Yeah, I'm a little nervous about retiring like what am I going to do with myself? Find a gym to work at I guess I can be the next trainer. I don't know. 

Claudia: 

So, I was going to say you would make a pretty awesome full-time trailer - trainer. 

Laura: 

Yeah  

Claudia: 

Motivating so many young people – right - and helping guide their journey.  

Laura: 

Yeah 

Claudia: 

- for successful as you've been with yours. So, either way, you're going to be amazing.  

Laura:  

Thank you. 

Julie:  

You need to think too there's a lot of money in Tiktok influencing, that’s all I’m going to say. 

Laura: 

In the States, there's a lot of money in TikTok influencing not so much in Canada though. 

Julie: 

How did COVID affect life for - I mean, because we live on an army base, and I think we all sort of have our own experience of how COVID affected our lives. How does life - it affects life on a ship? Because you're in very close quarters with people and I know a lot of people were very concerned about the idea of a cruise ship. It's not as much fun I would imagine. But it's the same kind of concept of people in close quarters.  

Laura: 

So, when COVID first hit, I was actually working base side - I wasn't on a ship. We shut down for- well I was at home for four and a half months straight. And then they were looking for a volunteer to sail on one of the ships and I’m like “Pick me, because I'm sitting at home by myself, I need to get around other people.” 

So, I ended up going on the HMCS Ville de Quebec for a month - off Nanook. We went into port in Greenland, well we went to anchor in Greenland, we weren’t allowed off the ship. Came back, we were wearing masks the entire time - I – we actually got COVID test before we left so we did sail without wearing masks, came back I got posted to a ship. 

We had a few periods where we were sporadic people on board, we have a day shift and night shift just to reduce the numbers on board. When we deployed - like I said we went into isolation for five days before we deployed. Everybody had to do - I believe it was three COVID tests before we left. 

After spending five days in a hotel, I prayed to God I had COVID so I could just the first week at the sail and spend another week in the hotel. Unfortunately, I went on the ship had every symptom in the book and tested negative. 

During our six-month deployment, we had out of 235 crew - we had, I believe it was 113 positive cases of COVID. I'd say about 90% of them were asymptomatic. The only reason we found out is because our procedure was – we’d go into port; we’d spend three days in port and for the next four days after we left, we’d all have a mask on. 

On the fourth day, we’d test the entire ships company and if everybody was negative, we got to go off masks. So, as we're testing people, we're finding people are testing positive. Now we went half the deployment with no cases. It was when people started coming back from their HLTA that we started getting positive cases.  

Our worst outbreak - We spent the last seven weeks of our deployment, wearing masks all the time. So, let me tell you working out in a mask sucks. So, it did not happen. And for a while our gym was shut down because it was where we stuck our - some of our COVID positive people. Because you have to separate them because you're living anywhere from 6 to 19 in a mess, so you got to move those people somewhere and we put them in the gym.  

Claudia [00:37:00]: 

Yeah, tight quarters for sure. I can't even imagine. On top of everything else.  

Laura: 

When you can lay in your rack and reach over and smack the person that’s snoring beside you. It's a little close. 

Julie: 

How many people are in a room on a ship?  

Laura: 

Depends on what mess you’re in. My mess there’s 6. The mess that my junior females sleep in I believe it holds 15 or 19 or 15 or 21 - Sorry.  

Julie: 

It's like - it's like a bunk bed situation, right?  

Laura: 

Yeah, they're - they're three high.  

Julie: 

I'm afraid of heights and I’m claustrophobic None of that sounds exciting to me! 

Laura: 

No. 

Julie: 

You get over it pretty quickly. I would imagine.  

Laura: 

Yeah, or you just play the old card. The spicy card and you get the bottom rack. 

Claudia: 

“Spicy card” I love it. I love it. Was it an adjustment for you? To be in such confined quarters? And when I say quarters, I don't just mean your bunk - I mean, the whole ship every room is small and tiny and - and you're spending months - months on it. 

Laura: 

Yeah, I yeah, I spent six months basically below water because my office for deployment was below the waterline.  

Claudia: 

No window? 

Laura: 

No window. I hope not. 

Julie: 

That makes it easier for motion sickness, does it not? Because you're not moving as much as when you go higher?  

Laura:  

So, the trick for seasickness is you want to be as low as possible and in the middle of the ship. So around sick bay or lower.  

Claudia: 

It’s a good place to be!  

Laura:  

Where- where I slept and where I worked. So, where I slept was pretty much, the middle of the ship and where I worked was more of the back end of the ship but it was below the water.  

Claudia: 

So, did you have to learn a lot of ship terminology or did that like - was that a lesson?  

Laura: 

I learned so much since being on the ship. Not only the ship terminology but I had to learn like how to fight fires, fight floods, hazmat spills because I had to do duty of ship. So, for that 24-hour period -Ironically, it's my turn tomorrow - I'm responsible for the safety of the ship. So, I got to know how to deal with floods and fires and everything else. And while we're sailing, there's a petty officer to watch or as I like to report myself as Sergeant of the watch. Again, I'm in charge of the safety of the ship while we're at sea for that three- or four-hour period. 

So, I have to do rounds of the ship - I basically go from one end of the ship to the other so you learn where things are pretty quick.  

Julie [00:39:35]: 

So, you joined the army - you probably never in your wildest dreams thought “I'm going to end up on a ship”?  

Laura:  

Well, I tried to get to Halifax in 2013. And they're like, “You have no sea time. You're not going to Halifax because you have no sea time as a senior NCO” 

And I went “Okay” 

So, when I asked for it in 2016, they went “The only way you're going to Halifax is if you go to ship.” 

“Perfect. Send me to Halifax”  

I get to Halifax and they’re like “Oh. You're working at Temi.” 

Last time I checked Temi didn't sail.  

Julie:  

For those of us who - For those of us who have no idea what Temi is? 

Laura: 

So, Temi is where the mechanics work. So, I was buying filters and stuff for vehicles. 

Julie: 

Thank you.  

Claudia:  

Where do you think you're going to end up? East Coast, West Coast, Wainwright, somewhere in the middle?  

Laura: 

I'd like to go back to Alberta for a few years. But ultimately, I think I'm going to retire on the east coast.  

Julie: 

It's odd we have this conversation a lot with guests of the you know - it seems like a strange concept about where am I going to live when no one's telling me where to live. When it's all my choice, like where do I want to be versus where do I just happen to live?  

Laura:  

I would like to be out west, but my grandkids live 700 meters from my house. So, as much as it's going to suck to leave them for a few years. From a financial standpoint, I have to go out west.  

Claudia: 

And I think you know, where you think you're going to end up when you're younger is not necessarily what you're thinking by the time you're ready to - to do retirement.  

Laura: 

Right.  

Claudia [00:41:09]: 

Just to shift topics for a second Laura because you're on these coasts and we you know we've - we've heard some devastating news with the - with the hurricane and stuff everything okay where you're at? Like did you see much damage, did you lose power? 

Laura: 

I lost power for about 14 hours, the first stint and then I came home yesterday? Today’s - Wednesday, yeah, I came home on Monday and power was out for about another six hours.  

Claudia:  

Everybody's good though? Kids, okay?  

Laura:  

Everybody's good. 

Claudia: 

Awesome.  

Julie: 

Yeah, it's always terrifying to me when I watch this on the news, that footage in the clips, what it would be like weathering that when you're on the water. Have you been through rough seas or? 

Laura: 

Oh, oh, yeah. 

Oh, yeah. I been inside the ship literally walking on the walls even that rough.  

Claudia: 

Were like little groupies, Laura. Julie and I we’re so Army-fide, were just trying to appreciate this, the Navy side of the house is that - it's interesting. So, thanks so much for indulging us.  

Laura: 

Absolutely. It's unique. It's - I'm glad I got to experience it.  

Julie: 

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us both the military side and the side about your transformation. And the - I guess the encouragement to people. I was - I take notes and have like here and there as I go and I - I noticed that your advice for the fitness - joining fitness was the same as the advice for joining the military and I don't know if that's just sort of your, your life's mantra is just do it like you know, take a step back, do it. Trust yourself and be brave.  

So, I think that's a great note to end on. Thank you so much, Laura for joining us. If you have a story that you would like to share with other military families, we would love to hear it. Please drop us a line and otherwise we will see you next month on military family life. 

Claudia [Outro]: 

And that's it for this episode of Military Family Life from one military family member to another. If you have any advice that you would like to share, let us know we would love to hear from you. We may even share your experiences on future episodes. If you have family and friends who want to learn more about living their best military family life, don't hesitate to let them know about our podcast. Thanks for listening. Join us again next time for more Military Family Life.